It is 1:30pm and I am sitting on my bed sweating with my computer propped up on my feet to allow some good air-flow to the bottom of it to keep it from overheating. My legs form a diamond shape and my back is hunched over to see the computer screen well, which, oddly enough, is beginning to give me a back-ache. I have several times tried leaning back, but every time I do that and take the computer with me, my internet cuts out. I would love to go sit outside under my mango tree in the shade as I’m sure it is about 15 degrees Farenheight cooler than it is in my house, but I try not to flash my computer around and I only use it in the confines of my rickety, semi wind-proof wooden walls.
I think it has been close to a month since I have written my last blog, and since I have time right now, I’m determined to use the internet and the time it while it lasts. I have encountered a variety of problems in sitting down to write a blog and respond to long over due emails. I think soon after I posted my last blog, my computer charger, without warning, broke, and I was left with an uncharged computer for about a week as MacBook chargers are a little hard to come by in Paraguay. Luckily, my mom came to visit me and brought me a new charger for my foreign and strange Mac laptop. But, as she was the first person from home I have seen in over 8 months, I valued her company far much more than time I have to spend using my computer and I let it sit there for another week while I soaked up hours of English conversation. After she left however, my internet became as unpredictable as the weather, or rather, completely predictable in that it hasn’t been working. I have several times opened up my email only to be cut off as soon as my gmail opens, or it will trick me and work for about 5 minutes and then completely cut me off. But typically, it tends to just be completely non-compliant and refuse to connect, telling me there is no signal even though I see at least 2 bars in the left hand corner. This is, as you can imagine, quite frustrating, especially after it happens to several days in a row.
The concept of “not working” has already become a familiar and regular problem for me. Early on in training, I would often walk 30 minutes out to the ruta to use an internet café with some other trainees only to be told by the woman that the computers “weren’t working that day,” which translated into either, “I don’t know how to turn them on and neither my husband or my teenage daughter are here to turn them on either,” or “it’s going to rain soon and I don’t want to be using all that electricity when it starts thundering.” A few weeks ago I hopped on a bus to go to Caacupe, a nearby city, and we passed by a broken down bus that “wasn’t working” on the side of the road. Now the fact that the bus had broken down was of little surprise to me. I’m more surprised at how many busses in Paraguay fly down the ruta, looking like half the engine just might fall out any moment. This bus however, was from the same company as ours, so rather than giving everyone back their money, they packed in half of the passengers onto my bus, leaving the other half to wait for another bus. I’m still not sure how I actually got off that bus, but I know I rubbed up against too many butts and felt violated while at the same time feeling a little bit like I was violating other people as I manipulated the slivers of space I somehow managed to find.
My most recent “not working” experience has been my running water. The community water tank is in the process of breaking and we do not water for a good portion of the day until the plumber drives his moto out at night to make it continue working until the following afternoon. I have now been 2 days without running water and I hear it won’t be fixed for another 4 or 5 days. The other day it went out at 8:30 am and I had no extra supply of water in my house, I hadn’t washed my dishes, and I had a huge pile of laundry that I really needed to wash. When you use faucets, you really don’t realize how much water you are using because you get to just turn it on and off. The water magically appears, and conveniently disappears down the drain (if you are lucky enough to have a drain.) When you have to walk to your neighbors house with your one small bucket to supply all of your water from their well, you begin to realize how much water you really use and how much water you can conserve if you are careful. That day I went over to my neighbors at least 7 times just to get my dishes and clothes clean and to cook. I might have had to return later that night, but I think I blocked it out.
After a while, you get used to things not working or breaking down all the time and you just learn to live with the consequences of it, even if it’s squeezing up against stranger’s butts to get off the bus or walking over to your neighbors every 15 minutes to ask to use their well again. And, you become thankful for things like having a water source nearby even if it is convenient, or having some kind of connection to the outside world, even if it is irregular. So with my now functioning computer, and my semi-only-functioning-when-it-feels-like-it internet, I will continue to update as the internet servers allow. Sorry for the delay.
No apologies needed here. I live in a bright clean city full of people on cell phones and ipods and iphones. BUT......It seams like, if I haven't had the time to keep up with blogs and emails lately, when I do sit down to "finally get caught up" I have-for reasons a lot less clear to me than yours- no internet. Today was one of those catch-up days and when I turned on the computer it actually had internet. By the time I had surveyed just how far behind in blogs and emails I was, my computer screen went dark. At that same time the clothes washer also stopped. OK, I had internet, but now I have no electricity! The outcome-or in this case, the output- is still the same. So........Ali, take your time. Don't worry about hurrying to keep us informed of your adventures. We can't read them anyway and even if we do, you won't know about it for weeks. At the same time, know this: WE love you and will always be grateful for any and all of your blogs, emails and phone calls. You have added to the joy of our lives and that can never be taken away. From the bottom of my intermittently electromagnetic radiationally motivated intricate circuitry I thank you immensely.
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